Masala Really!

Been Too Long

2006-12-09T22:16:00.000+08:00

Imagine, I have taken so long to blog, I almost forgot my id. Almost, but not quite. I wonder how the regular bloggers have the energy and time to blog. I enjoy writing definitely but when it has to be consistent, I guess I balk. There are a thousand of things that occupy my time -hmm some of the activities are ...watching television ...well, that's just it. Hee hee. I used to watch tons of TV in my previous miserable existence but now that I am in Singapore, my time is a little better spent. I haven't been watching any TV. Been online quite a bit though. Don't ask doing what. :-) Plus of course we have a new addition to the family - Rayn Eshan, first nephew, first grandchild and pampered prince. He is just perfect - ok ok most of the time. When he wants to play and stare at you with his gorgeous eyes - at 3 am in the morning, he doesn't seem that perfect. Grin. (Shh don't tell my sis that)

Last Thursday, my 1st sis and dad were supposed to play badminton. First my sister got me to replace her, then my dad got my last sister to replace him. It has been almost 2 years since I played so you can imagine, I was breathless very quickly. We did have a good match and it was wonderful to get back into some kind of activity. I have also been dreaming about going to my previous gym which has an outdoor/indoor pool.

http://www.fitnessfirst.com.sg/html/s02_article/article_view.asp?id=278&nav_cat_id=193&nav_top_id=78&view=&history=1&gback=home&dsa=1520

Hope that the link works so that you have visual. It is way cool and almost worth the $120 I used to pay.

Back to the badminton court. My youngest sister was about 15 minutes and when I entered the court at 8 pm, there were 4 people from the previous booking still playing. I politely told them, they can go ahead until my sister comes.

They finished playing a few seconds before my sister arrived. And casually the walked out of the court.

Sigh - yeah I did want them to leave the court, but did they say any words of appreciation that I didn't kick them out of the court? Nope. Just pretend that they owned the court anyway and walk right out. This is the ugly Singaporean attitude for you.

When I was in the U.S, I did look back and wish for the impeccable Singaporean transport system, the amazingly tantalizing food varieties in this food heaven. The one thing that I didn't miss was this - the Singaporean attitude. I guess I can't say that Singaporeans own this attitude or even that there aren't polite Singaporeans. What I am saying is that, it is a generally trend. That more often than not, one expects selfish and self centred behavior rather than gracious behaviour. Sure we are better at getting on lines when boarding the bus, (I was impressed by the queue at the Hong Kong while boarding, it was the best queue I had seen for the longest time - tee hee) However, this sort of order is borne out of fear rather than graciousness. There is a difference in whether one does it out of consideration, or one does it out of fear that someone was gonna slap a fine on them. That is when in situations where no one is going to write out a fine ticket for being ungrateful, (as in the incident in the badminton court) Singaporeans will exhibit a behaviour that is uncivilized. Of course, if you were an American in Singapore, you will have the red carpet rolled out for you. It is too strange.

One of the things my dad was really impressed was in the States was the level of service in every store that he stepped into. I have grown used to that level of warmth. It is rare indeed to come across a grumpy and boo-chap (can't be bothered) sorta service staff. It is just the opposite in Singapore. There have been times when I have walked out of a store because none of the service staff came forward to offer any assistance. I do not know if things will ever change and it is certainly not a campaign that we need. Campaigns are soul-less, one needs to go to the root cause and address the problem I think. Don't ask me why I am different though. :-)

2006-03-20T04:48:00.000+08:00

This is my kitty. Her name is Wilma, but really she should have been named "Princess" :-)

People Have Eyes But Their Hearts are BLIND Part 2

2006-03-18T03:09:00.000+08:00

People have eyes, but their hearts are blind. This saying keeps running through my mind. At the same time, I now think about proverbs and sayings that I had to learn during my Tamil lessons in school (The Ovvayaar Palamohigal, Aaathichudi, Thirukurral) when you compare the depth of the moral within each of these one liners, or in the case of the Thirukural, two liners (if interested to know more check http://www.cs.utk.edu/~siddhart/thirukkural/english.html), to that of English sayings, geez, you realize the nuances of the non English languages. Such delicacy and profundity in expression. Anyway, I digress.

This proverb on my title, is so complex in its simplicty. And the words "The Greatest Truths Are The Simplest" is etched in my memory because that was the only poster wall hanging that we had in our previous 3 room flat where we lived for 18 years. This Arabic saying is so apt in capturing my emotions and feelings at this point when I am writing this blog.

2 nights ago

It was such an amazing day of laughter and joy, sharing and larning, conversation and reflection. Finally I got to introduce D to C, and I know that I have made 2 lifelong friends in meeting these beautiful souls. Allah has really blessed me in the fact that I have been given the golden opportunity to meet such awesome, likeminded friends, kindred spirits even.

The evening strated with a moving and enlightening documentary - The Hidden Masaccre (see http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=05/11/08/1516227_ for transcripts. It is the gruesome truth on the unfair and baseless war waged by the US Government in Iraq. The bodies that were displayed diplayed signs of chemical poisoning, namely, the use of white phosporous (wp) against not only the Iraqi insurgents, but against civilians as well.The effect of white phosporous is the same as napalm which was used to the Vietnam War. IN 1980, the US signed an agreement (Gevena Convention) against the use of such chemicals that cause a particular kind of effect. Like the clothes are intact, but wp reacts with oxygen, air, skin, and literally melts the skin/body bodies to the bones. This brave documentary was filmed by The Italian Network RAI 24. The audience sniggered half in horror, half in the repeated stupidity of the US government when two Pentagon officials, within a week o each other, contradicted each other on whether wp was used as a chemical weapon. First Boylan said no such thing, next week another spokesman from the Pentagon admitted the the military has been using wp in the Iraqi War. This whole situation is a tragicomedy. The Bush administration, laughing and the victims, crying.
I don't know why I am so wound up by the injustices of the world. I guess it is because for me, it is completely inhumane. I am reminded of a Tamil proverb "Without wetness of heart" - ie a heart that is incapable of tears, that is cold and made of stone. I wonder how these people go to sleep at night. Doesn't their conscience princk them, like they are lying on a bed of nails? Ha - they are probably deaf and numb to their conscience.
All these things make me realize, there MUST be a God. Many people see all these atrocities that go on, and think "If there was a God, all this suffering, pain and brutality" wouldn't be happening. I cling on to the hope that because God exists, there is justice, if not in this world, then in the Hereafter.
Speaking of injustice, there was a lady at the documentary screening who shared with us on her fight against allowing army recruiters on school grounds. A mother had approached her and recounted how her 16 year old daughter kept being approached (or shall we say accosted) by the recruiter over several days. One fine day, he couldn't resist grabbing her by her elbow and told her "We need pretty gals like you in the Army". She told him to "Take your fucking hand off me". Strong language for sure. The recruiter went up to the Principal and what happened next just makes me feel so &^*^&%$*)(. The Principal suspended the girl for 3 days for the usage of foul language!
At the same time, I feel my faith in Americans is renewed. That there are people willing to fight against injustices. There is yet another group of people who stand at the intersections on Sundays displaying placards that are express anti-war sentiments. I think I should do something to change the world too. What exactly to do, I don't know. I had posted a reply to izzymo's blog and felt it summarizes my sentiments.

This is surprising, what you have chosen to blog about. Because after a few weeks of absence, I have just say down and drafted an entry into my blog, and some of the things that you brought up are connected to what I had to say. I too questioned what can be done and my mind has been circling around how I can effect change.

Essentially my entry was inspired by a documentary that I saw - The Hidden Massacre - by the Italian TV Network, RAI 24. I watched it 2 days ago, as part of the week long campaign - “No War Week”. It was held in a bookstore called “People Called Women” which is a feminist bookstore here in Toledo. Even though they screened the wrong movies (was supposed 2 be about women fasting for peace) it was such a revealing documentary. (Check Democracy Now for more details just in case you people didn’t know about this documentary on the Iraqi War and the US military use of white phosporous, declared illegal in the Geneva Convention.)
I have always made jokes about stupidity and American as being interchangeable (my apologies to all conscious and conscientious Americans). I still don’t understand how Bush got voted into power again. Who were these blind people? Or are we blinded by the politics. Was it even a fair election or did votes go missing again?
However, I must also concede that eventhough there are many Americans who are juvenile (like the white guy who stuck out his tongue at us from his car - my friend wears a Hijab, I wanted to flash him the pair of scissors that I just bought, but my friend advised against it. Kee kee) , there are also many Americans who are politically or socially conscious. We have influence one person at a time and the only way to do so is gain knowledge, knowledge is power and the Deen we practice, may it be the protective cloak that we don.
My next post in my blog is about “Crash” and because it has some connection, I shall quickly share it here. It is not Americans, Christians, African Americans, Muslims, etc that start these religious/racial tensions. It is the government. A nation divided, is easier to rule. It is easy enough to pit different communities against each other and then watch the drama unfold while they profit from the bloodbath. It is at times like this that I feel the presence of Allah the most, because these heartless, power hungry souless men and women, must get their just desserts. (I don’t like this saying, how can just desserts ever be a bad thing! but u know what I mean) Allah Hafiz

PEOPLE HAVE EYES BUT THEIR HEARTS ARE BLIND

2006-03-18T03:05:00.000+08:00

This Arabic saying was in the email that D sent me on this Palestinian child, now a 27 year old woman, was blinded by the mindless actions of the Israeli Army. On second thought, I shall paste the article right here and blog my thoughts in the next blog.

Bigger than the Sea
Posted by Kevin Sites
on Fri, Feb 10 2006, 6:33 PM ET
Video Audio Photo Essay

A Palestinian woman lost her sight in the intifada, and gained what she never imagined
*Note: in keeping with our mission, the Hot Zone is putting a human face on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. We're profiling doctors, victims of the violence, journalists and artists -- one from each side. In focusing more on the human picture than the political one, we aim to present a clearer portrayal of the scope of the conflict.
PALESTINIAN VICTIM
GAZA -- It was 1987, during the first Palestinian intifada. Palestinian boys were spray-painting anti-Israeli slogans on the walls near the home of the Al Hissi family in the Al-Shati refugee camp in Gaza.
When the boys were confronted by Israeli Defense Forces they scrambled over the wall and hid with the Al Hissis. They gave the boys different clothing so they could try to get back to their homes without being recognized by the soldiers.
Someone said that the alley should be checked to make sure it was clear before the boys went back outside. Before anyone could stop her, seven-year-old Amani Al Hissi pushed open the gate and walked out into the alleyway.
There was, the family says, the distinctive thump of a tear gas grenade being fired. It struck Amani just over her left eyebrow.

"It was very, very painful," the now 27-year-old Amani says, "but then I passed out."
Her father, Kamil, gathered up the body of his little girl and rushed her to the local hospital.
"The doctors told me they couldn't do anything for her, that she needed to be taken to a special eye clinic in Jerusalem," he says.
Kamil says it took an entire day before he could convince the Israelis to let him pass through a roadblock to Jerusalem. When he finally reached the clinic the news was not good.
Amani had already lost the sight in her left eye because of retinal damage and hemorrhaging. The news got worse. The doctors said that eventually, because of the trauma, Amani could lose the sight in her other eye as well.
It took four years, but as the doctors predicted, by the age of eleven, Amani was completely blind.
"It was so difficult, I was miserable," she says at her parents' home where she lives just a few hundred meters from the Mediterranean shore. "But there was also something positive. It created the soul of challenge in me. My blindness helped me to focus on other things: politics, culture, literature. Amani, with eyes or not, is still alive. I only lost my sight for Palestine, not my life or my soul."
Amani used that drive to pursue her broad range of interests. She learned to read and write in braille and studied Arabic literature. She also plays the accordion and hosts several different programs on the Voice of Youth Radio station, including one that deals with creative writing.
"I've adapted to my blindness," Amani says, "but nothing can replace sight. The other things I've gained from this are only compensation, not replacement."
Amani says what she has gained through the loss of her sight is imagination. In fact, even when she speaks, sometimes it almost seems more like poetry than just sentences.
She says she sits on the beach sometimes and she can see everything in her mind.
"With every wave that hits the shore," she says, "my imagination becomes bigger and bigger. I see all the waves, all the sea, the horizon, all the sunset. My imagination is as limitless as the sea."
But her imagination has its limits. When she wants to teach her younger brother Kamal how to write his name, it takes her several attempts to discern, through touch, where the notebook cover ends and where the paper begins.

She laughs easily and often, making funny sarcastic remarks.
When I ask her to tell me about the day she was shot she quips, "don't remind me of that day, I love it so much."
But while she talks, she nervously and incessantly plays with bracelets or her hands -- an underlying restlessness of one who must now see with her fingers.
She has difficulty talking about her loss in personal terms. Rather, she frames thoughts -- like so many in the occupied territories do -- in the larger context of a Palestinian struggle.
"It's impossible to put my anger aside," she says, referring to the shooting. "We are the innocents here, all this could be avoided by ending the occupation. If we get rid of them (the Israelis) there will be no more victims."
On a bench in the courtyard of her house she feels through a sheaf of papers for a poem she has written. When she finds it her fingers move across the raised dots on the page.
"Give me my childhood," she reads, "don't leave me alone, don't shoot me in the head, I have a lot of sadness, I am a child in the age of flowers, they stepped on my head, I'm a child in the age of flowers, they have no mercy on me or my childhood, please brothers don't leave me alone."
Around her neck Amani wears a gold heart with the letter "R": the initial of her fiance's first name. He is an intelligence officer with the Palestinian Authority.
He sought her out at the radio station where she works, after listening to one of her programs. They will marry in the coming year.
Amani is confident she will have a full life, maybe fuller than most. Yes, it will be without sight, but it will also be filled with imagination, an imagination, as she says, "as limitless as the sea." It's big enough, it seems, to encompass both the past and present, both anger and hope.
"There's a saying we have in Arabic: some people have eyes but their hearts are blind," she says

Tavis Smiley Poll

2006-03-03T12:25:00.000+08:00

(This was sitting on my draftbox from March 3)

Should employers be allowed to prohibit Muslim women from wearing the Malay-Islamic headscarf at work?

That was the poll that was on the Tavis Smiley website today. I was quite surprised, but then again, I have always enjoyed Tavis' show on PBS, midnight every weekday. He is rather succinct and direct and empowering to say the least. In the 20 minutes worth of interview, he has asked so many probing questions, in a manner that is least offensive. How many talk show hosts can boast that?

This poll is very interesting indeed. One, the hijab is said to be Malay-Islamic. Hijab is just Islamic - period. I wonder why it is called Malay too because being Malay is a race and although there are a lot of Malays are Muslims, it is the religion Islam that requires women to wear Hijab.

I am not really comfortable with the poll. It certainly reveals a mentality that is discriminatory. It almost pre-supposes that it is alright to ban the hijab from the work space. The U.S touts itself as a melting pot. It is so often used as a selling point. Why should the way a woman dresses herself be a point of consideration? I am just puzzled, that a woman is allowed to expose her boobs, wear skirts that reveal her thighs, and that sort of dressing is well and fine, why it is even encouraged and rewarded, whereas, when a woman wants to protect herself and be modest, we need a debate on the issue? This sort of thinking (if any thought is involved at all!) is bigoted and sexist and revolting on so many levels.

I do not have to be a Muslim to recognize the value of modesty. Don't other religions teach their followers to be modest? Isn't a woman (excluding one's wife of course) a representation of motherhood, the energy of Mother Earth, meant to be revered rather than lusted after?

Most people who do not understand, (or do not want to understand) the concept of the hijab will see it as an imprisonment, a sort of shackle. However, I (and many other Muslimahs) see the hijab as a garment representing freedom. A sign that reads "Treat me with respect" rather than "Ogle at me". Of course, there are Muslim women who choose not to wear the hijab (I haven't, but intend to at some point) and that is their relationship with their Creator. One of our family friends, DM shared, that when a woman wears the hijab, Allah himself is putting a cloak of protection around her. I thought it was a beautiful way of seeing things. Who wouldn't want the personal protection of God?

While we are at it, I wanted to share an experience. A couple of years ago, I had lost some 10 kgs (about 22 lbs) and guess was looking better than usual and returned home from Indonesia for a vacation. Suddenly, these men who I have known for years, looked at me with a glint in their eyes. I honestly felt violated and stripped down, rather than "flattered". There are all kinds of issues involved here. One, I guess at some level, some women would argue that it gives them a sense of power to be admired. Yeah right, admired like a chattel. I rather be respected for my inner beauty than 'admired' (which in this context, we know is lusted after) for my outer beauty. The real imprisonment is of women who are chained to their diets. This reminds me of the advertisement with women who have a scale chained around their ankles. The ad visually captures the lives of most women. That is the reality - becoming a slave to body consciousness versus soul consciousness. So much for women's liberation gals.

Press Release by Imams on Danish Caricatures, Violence, etc

2006-02-18T13:11:00.000+08:00

This was a forward and I feel it is worth posting. You will have to go to the link to read it.

Asalamu 'Alaykum,

I apologize in advance for the "group" email. As most of you know,
we do not usually do this sort of thing unannounced. However, I was
asked by our teachers to get this out to as many people as possible
in attempt to provide clarity to this controversial issue.

Hopefully this will provide some clarity. Shaykh Saeed Ramadan
Bouti, Shaykh Abdullah bin Bayya, Shaykh Ali Jumuah, Al Habib Umar
bin Hafiz, Al Habib 'Ali al Jifri, Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, and close to
40 religious leaders from around the world united together to produce
this OFFICIAL response of the Muslim Ulema concerning the Danish
Cartoon issue.

http://www.guidancemedia.com/downloads/articles/declaration.pdf

For those who prefer the original Arabic text, please refer to:

http://www.alhabibali.org/

We ask Allah to reward our scholars and religious leaders for there
unceasing efforts in His cause.

Wa Salam

Mustafa Davis

America - The New Terror School

2006-02-17T13:38:00.000+08:00

I so do not understand this. It feels like a bad nightmare all over again. How can the American Government operate outside the international committees. The European Union has also called for the closing of the prison, but America has rejected it! How dare they! It is ridiculous. I am just watching this with my mouth wide open. It is such an affront to my sense of justice and accountability.

Donald Rumsfield even approves of these methods of torture and imprisonment.

There is karma. Here are people with no remorse and no sense of good and evil. I am hearing the BBC news right now, and Donald Jerkoff Rumsfield is saying that the people responsible have been punished. He is responsible for allowing just indecency to take place. If there is a murder taking place, and there is a bystander who just walks on, I would say he is partially responsible for death too. This is not even a bystander situation. These were his foot soldiers. They probably acted on his instructions.

If this is the American's response to terrorism, why, they seemed to have ousted the Taliban as the terror school!

UN Calls Guantánamo a US Torture Camp
By Sam Cage
The Associated Press

Thursday 16 February 2006

Geneva - The United States must close its detention facility at Guantánamo Bay because it is effectively a torture camp where prisoners have no access to justice, a UN report released Thursday concluded.

The White House rejected the recommendation.

The 54-page report summarizing an investigation by five UN experts accused the United States of practices that "amount to torture" and demanded detainees be allowed a fair trial or freed. The investigators did not visit the detention camp in Guantánamo Bay, Cuba.

"Those people should be released or brought before an independent court," Manfred Nowak, the UN investigator for torture, told The Associated Press. "That should not be done in Guantánamo Bay, but before ordinary US courts, or courts in their countries of origin or perhaps an international tribunal."

The United States should allow "a full and independent investigation" at Guantánamo and also give the United Nations access to other detention centers, including secret ones, in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere, Nowak said by telephone from his office in Vienna, Austria.

"We want to have all information about secret places of detention because whenever there is a secret place of detention, there is also a higher risk that people are subjected to torture," he said.

The United States is holding about 490 men at the military detention center. They are accused of links to Afghanistan's ousted Taliban regime or to al-Qaida, but only a handful have been charged.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan rejected the call to shut the camp, saying the military treats all detainees humanely and "these are dangerous terrorists that we're talking about."

The UN investigators said photographic evidence - corroborated by testimony of former prisoners - showed detainees shackled, chained and hooded. Prisoners were beaten, stripped and shaved if they resisted, they said.

The report's findings were based on interviews with former detainees, public documents, media reports, lawyers and questions answered by the US government, which detailed the number of prisoners held but did not give their names or the status of charges against them.

Some of the interrogation techniques - particularly the use of dogs, exposure to extreme temperatures, sleep deprivation and prolonged isolation - caused extreme suffering.

"Such treatment amounts to torture, as it inflicts severe pain or suffering on the victims for the purpose of intimidation and/or punishment," the report said.

The UN experts who wrote the report had sought access to Guantánamo Bay since 2002. Three were invited last year, but refused in November after being told they could not interview detainees.

Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman said the UN report "clearly suffers from their unwillingness to take us up on our offer to go down to Guantánamo to observe first-hand the operations."

The International Committee of the Red Cross is the only independent monitoring body allowed to visit Guantánamo's detainees, but it reports its findings solely to US authorities.

Legislators and journalists have been allowed in on guided tours but few are permitted to see interrogations.

The US ambassador to UN offices in Geneva, Kevin Moley, wrote in a response that the investigation had taken little account of evidence provided by the United States.

"We categorically object to most of the unedited report's content and conclusions as largely without merit and not based clearly in the facts," Moley said.

Although his statement did not address specific allegations, the Pentagon has acknowledged 10 cases of abuse or mistreatment at Guantánamo, including a female interrogator climbing onto a detainee's lap and a detainee whose knees were bruised from being forced to kneel repeatedly.

In Strasbourg, France, the European Parliament condemned the treatment of prisoners at Guantánamo and renewed its calls for the detention center to be closed.

Human rights activists also supported the investigators' findings.

Amnesty International said the report was only the "tip of the iceberg."

"The United States also operates detention facilities at Bagram Airbase in Afghanistan, Abu Ghraib and elsewhere in Iraq and has been implicated in the use of secret detention facilities in other countries," an Amnesty statement said.

Many of the allegations in the report have been made before. But the document represented the first inquiry launched by the 53-nation UN Human Rights Commission, the world body's top rights watchdog.

UN spokesman Stephane Dujarric stressed it was compiled by independent experts. Asked whether Secretary General Kofi Annan endorsed the panel's findings, Dujarric said: "The secretary-general has often said, and repeatedly said, that there is a need for proper understanding and effective balance between action against terrorism and the protection of civil liberties and human rights."

The Invitation - by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

2006-02-15T14:09:00.000+08:00

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love, for your dreams,
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own, without moving to hide it
or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own.
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy
fill you to the tips of your fingers
and toes without cautioning us
to be careful, be realistic,
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,“Yes.”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live,
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what
or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company
you keepin the empty moments.

Variations on the Word 'Sleep" by Margaret Atwood

2006-02-15T13:51:00.000+08:00

I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear

I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

-- Margaret Atwood

Kahlil Gibran on Love

2006-02-15T13:48:00.000+08:00

Certainly some kind of love to aspire towards. As he says, it is no easy path. How beautifully profound the concept is.

On Love

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Love

2006-02-13T14:31:00.000+08:00

I miss my mum. I have often thought, that one day, I will have enough words to write about my mum. I don't think that one day will ever arrive. This day is as good as any day to celebrate my mother.

I cannot talk about her, or write about her or think about her without crying still. I guess the pain is still raw, but honestly, it doesn't feel like this feeling (like there is this heavy rock formation, this tightness in my chest) will ever go away. Even if and when I have my own children, any act of kindness, all of that reminds me of her, and opens up a chasm deep within. Like it will never be filled, because who can replace a mother...certainly no one can replace my mother.

Certainly, it is well and good to espouse spiritual theories of detachment from everything, things, people, events. But some things are just too embedded in one's psyche to be detached. How it felt like, once, a little more than a year ago, to feel unconditional love. And never having to ever question it. Take it for granted even. The memories are cascading around, like a waterfall, like my overflowing tears. Being 10 or 12 even, being served Milo and bread, having my hair braided, being escorted down by her to the school bus. Her ever smiling beaming radiant face. I remember one of my sisters chiding her, "Why do you smile at everyone, especially since not everyone smiles back at you." She just was a living angel. She didn't have a bad bone in her body. Yeah she has screamed at me, I have fought with her big time I am sure. Yeah I remember, I have been a monster to her. Yet all she gave back was pure undiluted love. In the one and a half year that I was working in Indonesia, when I am packing, she will slide up to me, and pass me $50 or even a $100. Then, under my dad's friendly goading, or just overwhelmed by emotions, she will start crying. That I was leaving, an I was barely 2 hours away by flight! Now, no plane is going to take me to her. I miss her miserably. She had the spirit of a warrior. Her angelic appearance and demeanour hid an amazing kind of strength. I guess God has imbued mothers with that sort of nerves. Still, as a woman, I can't even be half of what she was.

Her slipping into a coma end December and her consequent passing away was too sudden. She wasn't even 51 yet. She hasn't (hadn't) seen any grandchildren yet. My parents had just reached a stage in their relationship where they were inseparable. I can be a pragmatist, but right now, right here, I need my ma. I need her comforting presence. Doesn't Allah have enough angels around him, why couldn't he leave our earth angel with us?

This is the best way to end this entry, a favourite Tamil song of mine. Even when she was alive, and I was separated from her, I used to hear this song, and cry rivers all the time.

Lyrics

Kaalaiyil Dhinamum Kanvizhithal
Naan Kai Thozhum Thevathai Amma
Anbendralaey Amma
En Thaay Pol Aagiduma
Immaipol Iravum Pagalum Ennay Kaatha Annayae
Un Anbu Parta Pinbu Vaanam Bhoomi Yaavum Siriyathu

Translation
Every morning, when I open my eyes (ie wake up)
The angel that I pray to with my hands, is my mother
Love means mother
Can anything/anyone be like my mother
Like eyelids, you have protected me day and night
After seeing (ie, realizing) your Love, even the Sky and Earth is Small (compared to the Love your display)

My mum used to cry when she heard this song, coz it reminded her of her own mum. I pray that both their souls are at peace as they frolick in Paradise.

Reflective article on caricature printed in Jewish media

2006-02-12T14:53:00.000+08:00

The Respect Of A Cousin
Edward Miller

After the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten's 12 caricatures of the
prophet Muhammad were republished in European newspapers, riots
erupted in Damascus, Gaza, Beirut and elsewhere throughout the
Muslim world.

The violence is an extreme manifestation of the deep hurt felt by
virtually all Muslims. As we condemn the violence on the streets,
perhaps we should take a moment to understand the hurt in the hearts
of the great majority of Muslims who did not engage in violence.

For Muslims, the mere rendering of an image of Muhammad is
sacrilege. The portrayal of Muhammad in a pejorative fashion is to them
an inconceivably offensive desecration, on the level of what would be
for us the defilement of a Torah scroll. Because it was done in
newspapers across Europe, it was a slap in the face repeated thousands
of times.

Perhaps it's a question of respect, not freedom. Freedom of
_expression theoretically protects the right of a non-Jew to desecrate
a Torah scroll. Yet we would all view freedom of _expression as a
hollow defense to such a vile act.

Some say Muslims can't take criticism and simply don't understand
freedom of the press. In my own limited experience, that has not been
the case. For the past year I've written a column in a Muslim
newspaper, Muslims Weekly, in which I've criticized suicide bombing,
the treatment of Jews under Islamic rule, the anti-Jewish rantings of
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and even Muslims Weekly's own
reporting about Israel. But it was all done with respect, an informed
appreciation of the wonderful benefits that Islam conferred upon the
Jewish people, along with a willingness to look at our own
imperfections together with those of the other.

> Regardless of whether or not the European press was
constitutionally free to publish the offensive images, the act was a
blatant and vulgar act of disrespect to Islam. Such insults no doubt
contribute to the frightening specter of a clash of civilizations.

> What can we do as Jews to lessen the hostilities? Perhaps, just
perhaps, a little respect would help. Rather than ripping the wounds
wider with editorial musings extolling freedom of speech and
condemning violent protests, is it not time for a bit of healing?

> The pages of this Jewish newspaper present a place for a small
start by showing Muslims right here that though we too have the freedom
to say anything we like; we choose to convey respect to our Muslim
cousins.

> Printing something positive about Muhammad best does this. There
is a space between romanticizing the past and vilifying it. There is a
time to focus on the dark side of history and a time to view the other
in the best light. There is a time to cull from our rabbinic writings
the good our sages saw in Islam and there is quite a bit of such
sentiment recorded. We Jews need to learn to be more flexible,
pursuing the claims of Jews expelled from Arab countries and
criticizing anti-Jewish TV programs and cartoons in the Muslim media,
while at the same time displaying gratitude for all the good Islam
did for us. There is a time to jump over our pain and see the humanity of
the other. That time is now. Let us start:

There is a Hadith (oral tradition concerning the words and works of
Muhammad) recorded by Bukhari in the name of Amer Bin Rabiha that reads
as follows:

> "A funeral procession passed us and the Prophet stood up for it.
We said, 'but Prophet of God, this is a funeral of a Jew.' The Prophet
responded, 'rise.'"

One can search the writings of the ancient non-Jewish world for a more
powerful example of a public display of respect for the humanity of the
Jew. There simply is no more powerful statement than the single word
uttered by Muhammad nearly 14 centuries ago. Some readers will bombard
this newspaper with reams of material showing a darker side to Islam,
as if it were just too much for them to hear one good thing. But it is
there, it is a sacred part of their tradition, it is good and we
should hear it and respect it. When you give respect you get it. When
you take criticism, you earn the right to give it. Perhaps this
article will be republished in Muslim newspapers, complete with its
critical comments about the pain we feel in the face of anti-Jewish
cartoons and worse in Muslim media. Muslim readers may come to
understand that an article by a Jew, in a Jewish newspaper, was one of
respect, telling its audience: "We know that the one mocked in
newspapers in Europe is the one who had the humanity to tell his
companions to rise for the funeral procession of a Jew."

Edward Miller, a local attorney, is active in efforts to reconcile Jews
and Muslims. Special To The Jewish Week

Campaign launched to reduce usage of plastic bags

2006-02-12T03:01:00.000+08:00

SINGAPORE : Why waste plastic bags when you can use a reusable one?
That's the message behind Singapore's first national campaign to cut down the use of plastic bags, reduce wastage and conserve the environment.

But it may take some time before Singaporeans bring their own bags or use reusable ones when shopping.

An average family in Singapore uses about 2,500 plastic bags a year.

The National Environment Agency says an average Singaporean uses about two plastic bags a day, twice that of an average American.

And unrecycled bags can find their ways into waterways, choke up drains which can lead to mosquito breeding.

So the agency hopes people will cut down on the use of plastic bags, especially if they are just buying a few items.

Retailers are also doing their part.

Mr Koh Kok Sin, Head of Operations Development at NTUC FairPrice, said: "We basically remind the customers whether they need the extra bag, and also to pack more things into the same bag."

Reusable bags have also been made available, as well as incentives like gifts and lucky draws for customers who bring their own bags.

Most shoppers welcome the move, but some still find it a hassle.

"I know it is bad for the earth, wastage of resources. But still I think unless everyone is doing it, then we will follow suit."

"We do not plan to go marketing. Not like last time when we carry a basket when we go to the market."

Environment and Water Resources Minister Yaacob Ibrahim, who launched the campaign, agreed it will take some time before mindsets change.

Dr Yaacob said: "It will be a slow start primarily because we are asking people to change habits - habits are very difficult to change.

"But we have also brought in the youths into the picture. At the same time, if we can start them young, it will be more long-lasting."

No target has been set even though the campaign hopes to reduce the 2.5 billion plastic bags used by Singaporeans each year.

NEA says the working committee will monitor and review feedback to the campaign in three months' time. - CNA/de

My Comments

What a brilliant idea. Too bad I am not in Singapore. I have often thought about doing this while shopping in the stores here. We have a nearby grocery store, Shrolings, and they usually ask whether I want paper or plastic. I can't even choose the more environmental sound "paper bag" as I don't drive, as such, by the time I walk home, the paper bag would give way. (And it has, and it wasn't fun at all to run around the road picking up the falling items!)

I have also contemplated bringing my own plastic bags but haven't gotten down to doing it, partly because I think the people at the store might think I am strange. Aside from Shroling, shopping at other stores, one always ends up accumulating tons of poor quality plastic bags. You definitely can't take these bag for a second shopping trip.

From my observation, New York is quite vigilant in its recycling programme. You get fined if you dispose your recyclables, with the rest of the trash. I would really love to see that sort of policies in place in Singapore, why, the rest of the world. Your average Ahmad doesn't know how sorely the environment is being strained now. Not many people really know that their actions have a direct impact on the current weather pattens, the so called natural disasters, are further worsened by the carelessness and greed of humans.

I love my modern comforts, don't mistake me. But, surely we can balance the ill effects of capitalism and modern living. One can't help but feel, especially while discussing the environment, that perhaps modernization has some regression built into as well. Ahh, I remember that poem. Let me look it up and share it in the next blog.

DANISH NEWSPAPER WOULD ONLY SCORN MUHAMMED, NOT JESUS

2006-02-10T10:50:00.000+08:00

This was a forward to me. Am pasting it in my blog. It sums up how ridiculous things are in the west!

As salamu alaikum, Flemming Rosen, responsible for the Muhammad "cartoons" supported S. Huntingtons idea of the clash of civ. and is very well known for his hatred against Islam, because he, as a Jew, consideres Muslims to be antisemites...

Contrary to the position in 2003,
when Jyllands-Posten rejected the mild Jesus-caricatures, because the
could »cause an uproar«, now the newspaper opens it pages for » "scorn,
spite and ridicule«, against Muhammad.

PRESS RELEASE

DANISH NEWSPAPER WOULD ONLY SCORN MUHAMMED, NOT JESUS

European media has overlooked an important factor in the coverage of
Jyllands-Posten's cartoons, depicting Prophet Muhammed as a terrorist
and women oppressor. It is the years long practice and policy of this
newspaper, to publish Islamophobic opinions and treating Islam and
Christianity with two set of standards. Thus the Prophet Mohammad's
cartoons are not a question of freedom of expression, but of
marginalising and scorning Muslims on purpose. In fact, Jyllands-Posten
categorically refused to print caricatures of Jesus Christ( and rightly
so) in 2003 to prevent an uproar from its Christian readers , while it
deliberately printed negative drawings of Muhammed with the argument,
that Muslims have to accept »scorn, spite and ridicule on the name of
freedom of speech.

Bashy Quraishy, President of ENAR (European Network Against Racism)
explains; »The Danish newspaper that published the Muhammed-cartoons is
hypocritical. Only two years ago it refused to publish cartoons of Jesus
Christ. This fact has to be considered when we consider the whole matter
of freedom of speech versus respect and protection of minorities.«

»Foreign newspaper should take into account, the particular xenophobic
situation in Denmark, where far right Danish People's Party has become
the third biggest political party in Denmark after ten years of
statements bordering on hate speech against Islam and Muslim Minorities.
The Muhammed-cartoons is merely the culmination of an alarming
development. Muslim communities in Denmark are rightly frustrated about
this fact, and although they strongly condemn any violent attacks on
Danish embassies and Danish citizens across the world, they plead the
world to acknowledge that freedom of speech must not result in scornful
anti-Islam propaganda.« Bashy Quraishy concludes
We are submitting the documentation of Jyllands-Posten's double standards
Rune E Larsen
Board Member, ENAR - Denmark
Editor Humanism web site

DOCUMENTATION:

JYLLANDS-POSTEN 2003: JESUS CAN'T BE CARICATURED

April 9th., Christoffer Zieler submits drawing to Jyllands-Posten, which
depicts Jesus in various jumps and dives, with
accompanying texts, such as »sideways resurrection« and »resurrection
with rotation«. Jesus is mildly caricatured, and where his face is
visible, he seems to be having fun. »Perhaps this is something, the
readers would be amused to find in one of the
Easter editions,« the artist writes in his letter to the newspaper. The
same day, an editor from Jyllands-Posten refuses to print the drawing.
The reason is: »I disagree with you. I don´t believe Jyllands-Posten's
readers would be amused by the drawing. In fact I think it would cause
an uproar. Therefore I will not use it.«

JYLLANDS-POSTEN 2005: MUHAMMAD CAN BE SCORNED

September 30th., Jyllands-Posten brings 12 Muhammad-caricatures, which
cause protests from many Danish Muslims. One of the drawings depicts an
angry-looking Muhammad, with a bomb in his turban. In the newspaper's
rationale for bringing the drawings, the editor of the culture-section
of the newspaper, among other things, writes that you: »must be ready to
accept scorn, spite and ridicule«. Contrary to the position in 2003,
when Jyllands-Posten rejected the mild Jesus-caricatures, because the
could »cause an uproar«, now the newspaper opens it pages for » "scorn,
spite and ridicule«, against Muhammad.

Hate

2006-02-09T13:16:00.000+08:00

I have been busily commenting about this particular issue as well as the extended issues that arise out of the Prophet Muhammad (salaahu walaihu wasalaam)incident. I refuse to call it just a cartoon, because it is not just a cartoon. Below are two comments, one as a response to a posting on izzymo's blog. The second, a response to a posting on Singapore Ink.

Oh reading this blog and the responses, it just leaves me in a confused kind of state. I have always strongly felt that "and eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." This mantra would apply to all sorts of "isms". As someone who was minority in her country, I have experienced the whole array of racism. Sexism is of course still the normal state of affairs, although it is much more subtle now. I have been particularly conscious of the feelings that are evoked within me - the blind racism that you want to hit someone else with just because you have been a "victim" yourself. I just feel it is right. No one race is superior, no one gender is superior. No one religion is superior. Yes, the same Allah who gave us Islam, also gave the religion of Isa, (pbuh) to the world. We can be proud that we were born into the perfected religion of Islam for sure.
BUT, in Islam, it is haram to even take one's own life. How can we go around threatening to take away the lives of others? This is NOT justice (in response to bro Altaf. What would be a a more proactive thing to do then cry over spilled milk? Sis Izzy, you said, sometimes the struggle is about smiling. I agree with you. If there were enough Muslims around the world, who will act their part, and talked their part (ie explaining with knowledge and patience) to the ignorant, it is taking a mighty step.
I must say, I myself hadn't been a good Muslim most of my life, mianly because the Muslims I knew of, were kinda sexist, racist and extremists. That just didn't flow with my worldview. Of course, I still meet people who say, "Oh celebrating your birthday is unislamic, u aren't supposed to greet when some other religion is celebrating their festival, etc." This is what consumes some types of Muslims. They will be arm chair critics and bitch about how the world treats them, but wouldn't truly be practicing, or learning more about this beautiful religion. Why their knowledge of Islam, can't be very much more than the average non Muslim.
Geez I have rambled, but what I want to know is, what is bro Altaf doing, and what can everyone else who is keen do to follow in his footsteps? One shouldn't just critique, one should also offer suggestions. Allah Hafiz!

Comment 2
certainly do not condone to any of the violence that was a result of the insensitivity of the European media. I say European media because it is evident that what was published in a small time Danish language in Sept was last year, was republished recently, with no thought at all. What you must know, this very media, will not have printed anything of such a nature (which is a desecretion, more than a mere cartoon)about the Christian religion. In the past, the Danish media, had criticized the denial of the Holocaust as punishable by law. Yet, they call what they have done freedom of speech! Try creating a cartoon with Jesus, or Buddha or Kali in a derogatory manner. Why they talk about Jesus being gay. I can imagine some very colourful cartoons that can be created from that scenario. An eye for an eye certainly makes the world go blind. But alot of us moderate Muslims are wondering, geez, we have talked and talked and talked, where has that got us? Martin Luther King, an advocate of peaceful protest, but look, African Americans in the U.S are still down trodden, and there is systemic racism. When there is legalised racism and lack of tolerance towards the people of one particular religion/race, maybe people feel trapped enough to resort to violence. Every religion holds some things sacred. This is one of them. I mean no offence but I would like to suggest that in order to make your comments more of an informed one, you should interact with the minorities of world. You probably never had the problems I have faced of “Apu Ne Ne” (black skinned person) being thrown at you from your neighbours or having no one sit next to you in a crowded SBS bus because you are of the wrong colour. Do you have any Muslim friends in the first place who would be able to throw light on the fact that 1 billion people on this face of the Earth are angry? Find out maybe that would enable you grow out of your Eurocentric framework. I want to also let you know, that, in Islamic blogs, I advocate that violence must stop. But like I said, when you are feeling soul deep pain, it becomes difficult to be objective. In Islam it is forbidden to take one’s life (as it belongs to the Most High), let alone take the life of someone else. In Tamil there is a proverb. “Don’t believe what you see, don’t believe what you hear, thorough investigation leads to truth.” Peace

End of comments

This is indeed yet another test that the Most High has sent our way. It makes me very sad that Muslims have started resorting to violence, and eventhough some of my fellow educated bros and sisters have commented that they see that sort of action, as being more productive than not doing anything, I beg to differ. I really do believe in the principles espoused by Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa. That would make me a pacifist I guess. I see clearly, that by getting violent, we are further strengthening the belief among non Muslims are that Muslims are savage. Protest is a great step. Think of 9/11. If every soul affected by that dastardly event decided to burn down Islamic schools and mosques, etc, would we be accepting of it? These people who were killed in 9/11, do not represent the wrong doers in the government. This action of these Muslims in Syria, etc, is equivalent to a non Muslim spitting on me, or harassing me, as a form of punishment for the wrong doing of other Muslims. Really - it is beyond my comprehension.

At the same time, I watched "Negros with Guns", it was a documentary about Robert Frank Williams, who is connected with the beginning of the Black Panther Movement. It made me think about the injustice that the African Americans had to go through at the hands of the European American biased system. All those segregated public spaces (swimming pools, bars, restaurants, schools) and worse still, the Ku Klux Klan, going around killing African Americans.

I have never been in a position where I had to protect my body and soul against systemic abuse, slavery and legalized racism, so I guess I am not exactly in a position to comment. But the way to God, how can that be a path of bloodshed? We say "As Salaamalaikum" - Peace be upon you, how can one segment of the world live in peace, when another section isn't? All of us, are interconnected, the fruits of Adam and Hawa.

I make a dua (prayer) for peace everyday, for the enlightenment of non Muslims, that they may better understand Islam by relating to Muslims,not just reading about Islam. I also pray that my Muslim brothers and sisters will stop any form of violence or bigotry. Don't they see that they are causing more Muslims to be victimized. I pray that Allah gives everybody the patience and fortitude to pass yet another test that God sends our way. Peace and Blessings.

Love Bunnies

2006-02-01T06:20:00.000+08:00

Look at these two cuties! OMG. I miss them and I only just realised it when my sister transferred the pics of them. The gorgeous ebony colored darling is Chu Chu and the cuddly cream colored sweetie is Boo Boo. What I would give to see them hop in the air ... they look so full of life when they do that.

Sigh. I want wabbits too ...!

Love

2006-01-30T14:07:00.000+08:00

Written on Sept 25 - on friendster blog

Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy,
absentminded. Someone sober
will worry about things going badly.
Let the lover be.

Rumi

Everyone is obsessed with love. It is a strange phenomenon indeed. I find myself sometimes, in a philosophical space, wondering, what is LOVE. Of course, one cannot be totally honest in a blog, especially in friendster. Afterall, 99% of the people reading this would be my ex-students. I have to censor my writing then. I still want to make a comment though.

I have often felt that love can be extended to everyone around us, regardless of whether we know them or not. Hm so now I am not talking about romantic love anymore but a more spiritual sort of love. What you give to the Universe, will and must come back to you. In the case of romantic love, what is the use of pining for someone who is only willing to give you momentary attention? Romantic love comes with a cost. I will spend this much of time on the phone with you, telling you everything you want to hear so that you would go out with me and we can do the in thing and become a couple.

It is really funny to me sometimes when I think about teenagers trying to grapple with so called love related issues. Coz, well, where I am right now, (being an adult an all), it isn't an easy subject at all. The sort of love, that people seem to crave for, and are willing to give, DIES and ugly death. That is what is happening around me. Recently, when I look around and think about married couples who are truly happy and still in love, oooh the numbers are rare and few!

So, the next time, you say that you love someone, or would like the love of someone, decide exactly what love means to u. For me, it isn't just a feel good drug effect. Love is really, what is left after the "love" feeling is gone. It is action, rather than feeling.

Meow!

2006-01-30T13:56:00.001+08:00

I used to have a sign on my cupboard that said “When one makes a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” It is a more poetic rendition of “Make sure you really want what you wish for because it just might come true.” That is what happened to me but before you find out, you must of course listen to the long drawn telling of the events that happened.

I started feeling that perhaps I wouldn’t be as bored or lonely if I had a pet. I was very sure I could take care of dwarf rabbits, after all we had 2 back home, Boo Boo and Chu Chu. They are quite adorable. You should see the hop when they are really excited. So very delightful! My family considers them the first 2 grandchildren of the family. Everyone is very emotionally connected to Boo Boo and Chu Chu. How does one help falling in love with such innocent looking cuties. Of course, when they gnaw at every important wire, they aren’t that innocent those times. It really feels like they are plotting to see us in a panic. Then my sisters would be running around, trying to right the fiasco before my dad returns and finds out, that we had actually let the rabbits roam about in the living room. We’ve had some close calls but that’s another story.

So, now I have a partner in crime, Magdalena. When I told her, 2 days ago that I wanted to get a pet, she told me that we could go to Petco. Both of us were transformed into wide-eyed kids indeed. The cages with the wabbits were right front. Oh there were two smaller rabbits and I was kinda excited. I thought perhaps they were dwarfs. Alas, they were not. I guess I am so used to handling dwarf rabbits I rather have dwarves. They look cuter too (shhh don’t tell anyone I said that)

Then we saw the cats, and they were so adorable! Dalena found out that these cats were from the Humane Society. Sooo that is how we landed at the Toledo Humane Society. It was soo fun. Coz they had all these rooms where they had different types of cats. The first room, the cats were allowed to roam around freely within cages. Dalena knew exactly what to do, ie how to stroke them, play with them.  There were two other rooms with cats in cages. One of them, well you obviously got the overwhelming feeling that these cats were abused. They all looked so sad. There was this grey cat that I liked. It reminded me of Suzannah’s gorgeous cat, Eusoff. Then there was this lovely looking kitten which this Chinese couple were considering. He/She was so active and alert. There were 3 other kittens. Sigh.

Then I get home, and tell Yusuf about my visit to the Humane Society and how I wanted to get a cat. He tells me that someone in school was giving away a kitten. He discounted the idea because the issue is, who would take care of the cat when we have to go to NY? Dalena said she would. He he. Today I tell Mr Khan that I wanted to get a kitten and he says that his mechanic is offering two kittens! I might have to take both of them as they are sisters. Imagine from being all alone at home, to having two kittens following me around! How strange!

So, like Mr Khan said, it doesn’t just rain, it pours!

2006-01-25T10:58:00.000+08:00

Hate

2006-01-25T10:55:00.000+08:00

I have always strived to be empathetic. You know, trying to put myself in the shoes of most people, especially those of the underdogs, underprivileged, and the sidelined. If I had to explain why, it is probably because I have felt marginalized at some point or other. I remember thinking about the levels of “minority” I am. Indian, female, Muslim, overweight.

So over time, I developed this ability to see the world from the perspective of those in a disadvantageous situation. Therefore it is not surprising that as the experience of African Americans unfolds for me, I find myself gaping in horror and shock.

Yusuf was watching a couple of documentaries – the one that I did see with him was a documentary entitled “The Eye of the Prize.” It revealed to me how little the world at large knows about racial politics in the US. As an outsider, looking at the US, I have had a clue as to how deep seated the issues were until recently. I remember an exchange student from America who had come to Singapore to study a few units of sociology. She was really a wonderful person, enjoyed discovering the sights and sounds of Asia and I even visited her when I was in the U.S in 2000. She mentioned at some point in our friendship that the U.S practices reverse discrimination by having these employment policies where a certain percentage of the population had to be “minority”. She didn’t sound too happy about it and I guess I didn’t have the information to make an informed opinion anyways.

In retrospect, now when I think about her comment, against the backdrop of the real lives of African Americans, it is quite a shallow comment. There is such a great lack in the knowledge of your typical American on race issues, the past and present. I was so stumped as I started learning about all the indignities that the African Americans had to suffer during slavery and beyond slavery. I know that your typical Singaporean for sure wouldn’t have known that up to recent times, everything was divided along black and white lines in America. African Americans sat at the back of buses, they attended different schools, they shopped at different stores, and they ate at different restaurants. Even when the courts ruled against segregations, governors broke the laws and continued to disallow African American students from attending “white” schools. I just can’t imagine living in a world like that. The strength of these individuals who lived in such a world is beyond my comprehension. I try to imagine, being discriminated so overtly because of my skin colour and I just feel this sick feeling in my stomach.

A so called white friend said, “If they don’t like it here, why don’t they go back where they came from?’ That is the typical cruel, dismissive white American for you. The double standards of the world reveal itself. I ask myself and my other American friends over and over again this question. How dare the American government, pokes its dirty fingers in the business of other countries, when their affairs are far from being orderly? It is completely preposterous. The idea that Japan could be chastised for its wrong doings during WWII, China is questioned on its human rights policies, etc. Who is the US answerable to? No one?

Racism still exists, overtly (Toledo’s neo Nazi demonstration, the treatment of Muslims, etc) as well as subtly in employment policies, racial profiling in crimes, etc.

I discovered that right under the YAHOO NEWS articles, there is a section that says, “Discuss It” or something along those lines. Very often, even in neutral articles, that don’t seem to have anything to do with any particular race, the discussion ends up being racialized. Article about Michael Jackson, article about a crime committed at a playground, etc. People start saying things like, “Oh they didn’t mention the race of the criminal, but he must be black” and the comments get more and more abusive, the contributors bouncing off each other all the hatred and negativity that can be harnessed in a platform like that. I find it completely revolting.

It was then that I realized how tightly the Singapore government has governed race relations in Singapore. The jailing of the bloggers who had made offensive remarks of the blogs on other races/religions was welcome news to me. I completely commend Singapore’s take on these matters, because in the US, in the guess of “freedom”, anything and everything can be done. Morality and ethics doesn’t feature prominently in the psyche of Americans it seems. My white friend (yes the same one who said African Americans should go back if they don’t like it here) proudly proclaims that Americans can say anything they want because of “freedom of speech.” Alas freedom of speech seems to go hand in hand with stupidity. Your typical American hasn’t traveled beyond their state, let alone America. Yet they pride themselves in being able to comment on everything under the sun. Religion, politics, other governments, etc. They possess wide knowledge on so many issues and they often do not give a fig about what you might know and they often insist that their way is the right way. How ridiculous.

However, the reality that Americans know with such certainty, is fed to them via the media. Most of local TV news revolves around the plans for development of a Mall, the closing of schools during snow storms, etc. The American mind is only trained to handle news that occurs within a 100 mile radius. Who really cares about what happens around the world when I don’t even care about what happens in other States in my country. Yes, staying in Iraq is a good idea, maybe then these blady oil prices will go down, the war is producing more jobs for Americans, etc.

There are Americans that are learned and thinking beings, but they are in such low numbers it is an affront to a country that calls itself a democracy. I guess that is why I am so riled. The hypocrisy that goes on every level. I almost admire Singapore in some sense. Everyone knows that it is a controlled democracy. Yes we are the country that banned chewing gum and caned Michael Fay. We don’t pretend to be something we aren’t. America is all about pretensions and keeping up appearances. Just beyond the shiny skin is bunch of wiggly worms.

Completing Half the Deen

2005-07-06T02:34:00.000+08:00

AKA getting married. You see that explains why I haven't really been writing. Mostly because work has gotten so busy, am crazily working out and plus housework, wedding preps, you get the pic. So this has to be real short.

I AM GETTING MARRIED IN 23 DAYS! (Insha Allah!)

It feels surreal. Afterall Yusuf is like 6000 miles away if I am not mistaken. We try to talk about outfits, and what happens at the wedding, etc but I don't want to scare him off you know. As it is, he was shocked that there will be 400 guests. That is nothing hah! Most weddings have 1000 guests, including the groom's family. Perhaps that is not how Muslim weddings go in the African American community.

We learn something new everyday! So, Selamat Malam for now. That reminds me, gotta check out the delivery of material from Indonesia to Malaysia tomorrow. Let me go get my beauty sleep. Afterall, I only get to be the bride once in a lifetime.

Vegetarianism

2005-06-17T07:55:00.000+08:00

Recently, my wedding cake designer, very tactfully asked me why my size doesn't co-relate with the fact that I am vegetarian. I was a little stumped and I made a hazy explanations about having become vegetarian only 3 years ago, etc etc. (or is it 4 now, I really didn't see a need to keep track of when I chose not to consume poison ..ha ha ha)

As I was rushing around (which seems to be my lifestyle now), I thought about her question and started thinking once again, why I am not a trim, fit and svelte size 8, 9 or 10, or whatever size is acceptable nowadays. In Singapore, the acceptable size, must be 4, based on the stocks in the clothes store. (I swear, no exagerration here)

Whaat does being vegetarian have to do with weight loss? Chocolates contain no meat, and french fries are simply just potatoes. (ohhhh to me they are slices of heaven on earth) Add to that an array of ice-creams. Just because you are vegetarian, doesn't mean you don't like your food deep fried either! So, there you have your mystery solved.

I strongly believe, beyond the looking slim factor, what is even more important is being fit. It is a crazy rat race and sometimes we just don't seem to be able to squeeze in time for a half an hour jog/walk, etc. I am on a fitness high right now of course, trying to look less grotesque in the wedding photos. My trainer, Fairuz is amazing coz he is constantly pushing me, and he even tortures me during my training sessions with him, but I do adore him. Couldn't have asked for a better trainer. Imagine me annoyance, right after my workout, grabbing a sandwich, I head towards the MRT to head to work. This lady rushes to me, and asks me for a moment. When I tell her I was in a rush (when am I not) and she thrusts this flyer on some weight loss product at me. I was disgusted. Why do people not get it into their heads that weight loss stuff just don't work. If they really did, then why is it that there are still so many people desperately trying to lose weight? Wouldn't this amazing pills be the only product in the market? Does it take a rocket scientist to figure this out? No wonder some men question the intellectual abilities of women. Bah.

Virgin Attempt

2005-06-13T14:55:00.000+08:00

I finally fell into the trap - lured by the mystery of public writing. I wonder whether I will stuck to the board, like a fly on fly paper, constantly rambling. Coz that is what blogs are about right? The ramblings of men and women seeking some sort of catharsis or perhaps reaching out to anyone who can offer a listening ear to their current area of interest.

I am also wondering, whether there are people out there, who sit hours at a row, reading other people's entries. Very like friendster. One of my sisters apparently is quite hooked on reading the exciting profiles of other friendster members. I prefer the privacy and intimacy of emailing much better though.

Once again, I wonder, whether hanging out so much in cyber space deprives us of building real life relationships. For instance, instead of spending an hour typing my thoughts, I could have invested that time with family and friends who are afterall our primary support sytem. The second I typed the statement, I figure, there is less and less truth and validity in the statement. We all turn to cyberbuddies nowadays coz we love the idea of anonymity and ease. It is a paradox that at times, talking to strangers who know zilch about us, gives us more comfort than turning to those closer to us, distance as well as connections wise. Or are our family and friends too busy in this constantly accelerated world to pay attention to us? Are they hooked up to the internet, helping some cyberbuddy over you, their flesh blood - and vice versa.

I told you - ramblings ...I am not trying to prove the statement wrong either.